UP!

WoManUP!: an anti-sexism vademecum for boys

Men,

How do you feel about sexism? Do you feel uncomfortable when you hear this word? You feel uncertain about what to do or say in presence of a woman? Are you scared about the future identity of your own powerful masculinity? If you answer “yes” to all these questions, watch out, there is a high probability you are suffering of a very unpleasant disease called “Sexism”. 

You have good reasons to worry.

Sexism is a malign and highly contagious virus that attacks the psycho-neurotic system of men (between 10-99 years old) and makes them come across like complete idiots. Sexism will make you convinced of gender-related opinions that belong to the middle-age and most probably you will be perceived by part of the female outer world as a boneless loser. In the medium-long term, untreated sexism might lead to serious consequences and affect your self-esteem, confidence and authentic masculinity.

There is not a cure to sexism yet: researchers from all over the world are currently experimenting various treatments with specific target groups. Promising results have been obtained by the work of Professor Tarana Burke and her staff on a vaccine called “#metoo”, tested specifically on a restricted target group particularly vulnerable to the virus: Famous, Powerful and Successful Men

Experts say it is still too early to talk about a cure: while the vaccine seems to partly inhibit the virus spread, the treatment seems still too invasive for the fragile male system and carries high risk of side-effects, such as overall role confusion, testosterone drop, uneasiness with real or imaginary accusation and even resistance to the active principle of the vaccine itself: intelligence.

In order to help you recognise symptoms in yourself and others, we have prepared for you a list of possible behaviours that might indicate the presence of “Sexism”:

1- Unhumorous remarks about menstruation

Men affected by sexism tend to project their own inadequacy in dealing with natural human processes such as menstruation by expressing their non-requested jokes in unfortunate contexts and in inadequate manners. Women tend to respond to these jokes in different ways: imperceptible rolling eyes movements, blood-injected looks, awkward silences or in some rare cases with a generic “fuck you!”.

2- Inability of acknowledging privileges

Sexist men can get intellectually impaired and consequently become unable to understand the concept of privilege disparity. These individuals normally do not acknowledge the fact that the world has mainly been designed by men, built by men, responding to the needs of men. These privileges are often confused as god-given rights especially when it comes to occupy power roles in society.

3- Selective deafness

The virus can also attack the cognitive system of men and it can manifest in an inability to distinguish a NO from a YES expressed by a woman. Cases have been reported of women clearly stating: “Bugger off, I have no interest in any of your sexual services” that get interpreted by men as “Take me, I am all yours”, This latter normally indicates an advanced state of the disease course.

4- Scarce vocabulary

Often patients affected by sexism can present a vocabulary shrinkage resulting in a limited choice of words. To the point that they will make an arbitrary misuse of “genitals related” language when trying to express elementary concepts and opinions. Examples are expressions like: “She is a woman with balls” meaning she bears classical male features as determination, personality and character. Or even the “Don’t be a pussy” when intending to point out weak/vulnerable behaviours in other men and in association to women’s features.

5- Assuming a father will get jealous about his daughter(s) sex life

Fathers of girl(s) often report of “innocent” hambush-jokes they receive by other men, generally in a giggling tone and with a subtle intention to hurt. Comments like: “Ahhhhhhh!! Your baby-girls are becoming women hahah” or “Beware of all the booooysss” or others like: “You’ll be such a jealous father”. Frequently these comments are accompanied by eye-winks and firm elbows on the father’s ribs.Individuals affected by sexism do not seem to realise that perhaps a father does not acknowledge this as a problem. And maybe he would actually want a sexual life for his daughters.

Should you recognise yourself in at least 3 of the symptoms mentioned above, please get immediately in contact with the appointed authorities to evaluate the possibility of quarantine.

A sexism-free life is possible! The benefits of a sexism-free life include, among others, a drastic improvement of your self-image and a significant upgrade of the perception women have of you. They might actually like you and find you cool!

So remember: Give sexism no chance. Stop being an asshole now.

← Back to Our Blog