Let’s admit it. Human beings tend to fuck up. Intentionally or unintentionally we all do it. Maybe I am trying to find allies here, as quite frankly I do fuck up pretty regularly and it feels comforting to know I am not alone in this. Thus I give myself the arrogance to talk for all us here.
Let’s assume as well that we all do recognise our own accountability when that happens and let’s also assume that our empathy is well practiced and our vulnerability exercised. Bare, we can only assume here as experiences teaches that nothing of this cannot be taken for granted I am afraid.
In our scenario though, feeling like shit ends up being the healthiest reaction ever. We fail being ourselves heroes and heroines and in stead we get to stare at our own dumbness reflected in the mirror. This hurts, doesn’t it? It hurts you. It hurts others too, as our actions roll from inside to the outside.
So, as ignoring our failures is to exclude and also it is to exclude delegating our own breakdowns to others such as people, divinities, destinies and fates, what’s left to do? Tataaaa…Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to one of our 2 guests in today’s show: Forgiveness! Forgiveness is not often invited to shows, as its presence is often uncomfortable and inconvenient. It is normally far easier to listen to anger, frustration, fear and shame.
In fact Forgiveness speaks always its truth and does not accept invitations unless the guest commits to listen.
Because Forgiveness will tell you that you are human and as as such, you are prone to mistakes. You have failed, you fail and you will. And this is an inconvertible fact and this post is not about lecturing the obvious, right?
What this post is about is in fact how to “fix” Forgiveness. How to ensure that you have truly forgiven and thus capable to move on stronger. And this is the moment, Ladies and Gentlemen, to welcome our second guest of today: Appreciation (AKA Gratitude)! Similarly to Forgiveness also Appreciation does not often get invited to shows. But differently than our first guest, Appreciation is a joyful presence. An old friend cracking funny jokes and that makes you wonder and say “Hey it was great to see you, we should meet more often! Let’s stay in touch, ok?”. When appreciation comes and visits you, then everything is fun. You level up. You learn. Always.
So this is how it works: you (and others) fuck up —> Forgiveness kicks in as we can’t change what happened —> appreciate what you have learned, what you have achieved and what you have become.
Without the last bit, I am afraid we cannot be sure we have really forgiven, as we can only be sure we have run a marathon when we have crossed the finish line.
If everything above was an easy reach, we would not need to talk about it. In fact it’s probably one of the most difficult and exhausting thing you have ever witnessed. But I have never seen diamonds growing on trees.
I almost forgot…Forgiveness is not a must. We can very well decide not to forgive, but this is another story.